Had some extra time today while I was driving around for work so I thought I'd hit up the outlet stores in Gilroy. There's a Reebok store and a Columbia store there and I've always had good luck at those stores for finding clothes. Granted, I'm a bit on the chunky side right now but there wasn't anything there that I could wear. I tried on a dozen different shirts and there was only one that somewhat fit and then if you add on a t-shirt underneath, there was no way. Disappointed.
So, I'm a big guy. 6'3" tall and a bit chunky right now at 255. I carry most of my weight in my midsection...... love handles, belly, and moobs. Always have....... since Junior High. So, I could never wear an XL simply because I'm too tall and the shirts always end up being belly shirts and showing way too much crack. I've always been comfortable in XXL as they may be a bit large for my shoulders, but the length was usually good and there was room for my belly.
The extra "X" in an XXL is the point that you're considered "Big and Tall" and the point when there are surcharges for the clothes which range from an extra $2.00 at Wal-Mart to double to triple the cost at the Big and Tall shops (Casual XL and Destination XL for example..... seriously, $39.50 for a t-shirt?!?!?!?). Here's the kicker though, 6'3" is just a bit too tall for regular sizes but way too short for "Tall" clothing. What an annoyance to not be the regular person sizes!
At least I can reach the top shelves in the cabinets...... never mind that I throw my back out reaching to the back of the lower cabinets though :)
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Self actualization and the break up that caused it!
It's Saturday and I'm sitting a hotel in Monterey CA...... I'm bored. I do enjoy writing but trying to find the time just doesn't work too well sometimes. I've got 2 subjects to discuss with myself tonight:
My girlfriend and I broke up 4 weeks ago. Very mutual as there were things about me that wouldn't work into her life and vice versa. While it was the right thing to do, I'm in the midst of that transition period where I got used to having someone to talk to and be with to being alone. Let the self analyzing begin!
Balance is my flaw, or rather maintaining it is. Trying to find that happy medium of self, family and relationships is where I struggle. I am great with the relationship in the beginning at the expense of the others and then I find that I overcompensate on the others when I notice thus letting the relationship struggle. I wish I was one of the great Welendas!
I also have an issue with the follow through. I'm all in for a relationship but often find that I can't make it to the moving in part. I'm debating internally if it's because I'm with the wrong person and I sub-consciously know it or if I'm just scared to open up myself up THAT much trying to keep the heart protected caused by past.......bitches, relationships. I think it's a little of both. The most current now ex-girlfriend, I think was a combination of both. I think there were some things about her that I knew we wouldn't be able to overcome and I chose to ignore them and also that there were some things about her in some of her stories that led me to be wary of progressing to the point that I could completely open up to her.
On an interesting note that I found out today, Happy Endings are not an urban myth! I chose not to partake but it was offered and I must admit that I really considered it. I know I'm getting old because as I was leaving, I was happier that my neck was feeling better afterwards than being offered the extra service.
I put Tinder on my phone tonight. Thought I'd give it a try, not to hook up but with all the traveling that I'm doing, I'd like to get some insight and maybe some company for the local attractions. Although, I can't rule out hooking up, I'll just consider that a perk should it happen.
Great times in Monterey! I've been looking at taking my son on a trip sometime. I've got enough points for flights and probably some hotels too. He said he wants to go to LEGOLAND but I think I have him talked into Washington DC or maybe even New York. I think that we'll have a great time going to either but I get a feeling that DC would be the better choice....... as the Smithsonian is there and he's all about the airplanes and spaceships....... go figure.
Speaking of trips, I think I'm going to take a day next week and go to Vancouver since I'll be in Washington state about 50 miles from there. It would be a shame to miss an opportunity like that. Now all I need to figure out is if I need to convert my currency or if they take American Dinero?
And that's all I've got for the moment. Pretty boring stuff. It's hard trying to be narcissistic!
My girlfriend and I broke up 4 weeks ago. Very mutual as there were things about me that wouldn't work into her life and vice versa. While it was the right thing to do, I'm in the midst of that transition period where I got used to having someone to talk to and be with to being alone. Let the self analyzing begin!
Balance is my flaw, or rather maintaining it is. Trying to find that happy medium of self, family and relationships is where I struggle. I am great with the relationship in the beginning at the expense of the others and then I find that I overcompensate on the others when I notice thus letting the relationship struggle. I wish I was one of the great Welendas!
I also have an issue with the follow through. I'm all in for a relationship but often find that I can't make it to the moving in part. I'm debating internally if it's because I'm with the wrong person and I sub-consciously know it or if I'm just scared to open up myself up THAT much trying to keep the heart protected caused by past.......
On an interesting note that I found out today, Happy Endings are not an urban myth! I chose not to partake but it was offered and I must admit that I really considered it. I know I'm getting old because as I was leaving, I was happier that my neck was feeling better afterwards than being offered the extra service.
I put Tinder on my phone tonight. Thought I'd give it a try, not to hook up but with all the traveling that I'm doing, I'd like to get some insight and maybe some company for the local attractions. Although, I can't rule out hooking up, I'll just consider that a perk should it happen.
Great times in Monterey! I've been looking at taking my son on a trip sometime. I've got enough points for flights and probably some hotels too. He said he wants to go to LEGOLAND but I think I have him talked into Washington DC or maybe even New York. I think that we'll have a great time going to either but I get a feeling that DC would be the better choice....... as the Smithsonian is there and he's all about the airplanes and spaceships....... go figure.
Speaking of trips, I think I'm going to take a day next week and go to Vancouver since I'll be in Washington state about 50 miles from there. It would be a shame to miss an opportunity like that. Now all I need to figure out is if I need to convert my currency or if they take American Dinero?
And that's all I've got for the moment. Pretty boring stuff. It's hard trying to be narcissistic!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
on the hook
I was watching How I Met Your Mother the other day (great show by the way) and it was all about keeping people "on the hook" or being kept "on the hook". It's the art of being interested in someone an the other person doesn't share the same feelings but either doesn't want to completely shut the door or doesn't have the balls to do it. In any case, the person on the hook usually suffers. So I've recently realized that I'm on the hook. The part that I don't like about it is we would be great together! But alas, when I'm on the hook, there's really no way that the feelings could ever be mutual and since I had a marriage that was the same way, I don't think I'd like to do that again.
I can't help but think it's the Karma getting me yet again as I've made mistakes in the past and have probably done a little bit of that myself.
Anyways, I'm just quite disappointed with the situation that I've been presented with!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Sunday hum drums
It's one of those Sundays when I'm just not really feeling like doing much of anything. These Sundays are happening a little more frequently lately. This is my world lately. I'm glad summer is coming, these types of days usually slow down during the summer.
My newest lame letter that I'll never send
It’s a story. This is what I do when Saturday Night Live just doesn’t hold my interest.
In a land on the edge of the divide, surrounded by an increasing tide of concrete, brick and mortar we find in the most unlikely of places, the story of an incredible journey.
You wouldn’t expect him to rise above the average nor be in the lead of his brethren but he makes his statement through his pure gentility and dedication to that he holds dear. It is the unapologetic way that he presents himself that leads most people to give thought to his ways. Not unique in any one particular way but unique in his whole. He is simply, himself.
In himself, he has discovered that which plagues all men, thoughts of a woman. He has spent much time self reflecting that which has befallen him in the past, that which has scarred him. The hurt and pain involved was unimaginable and still haunts him. It is this pain that had secluded him in a world devoid of all that he held dear. He walked alone along this path, content in the meanings that he decided. He determined the outcome, he was his own master, no one else had a say in his feelings.
It is in this self reflecting manner that he lost his focus on his path alone. He became intrigued and explored the feelings that had long been suppressed. The path he was on was no longer singular in destination but, the multiplicity of the paths ahead was staggering. He sought the solace that only friends can provide and looked to their experience to guide him with his impending decisions. He knew what he wanted, what he secretly has known for the better part of his young life. Yet, he overlooked those desires, those dreams in favor of the stability and security that could only be found along the single path that he had created for himself. His time along the singular path was coming to an end before him. And it was towards the end of this path that he slowly had an experience that would further define his future. This experience was not sudden in occurrence but slowly evolved from a single point. It was an experience that while felt before was more vivid in its meaning. The experience had time to mature, to slowly come to fruition in the man’s field of vision. He knew what this was, he had remembered from the past what this would mean for him. It would mean an extended hiatus from the path he had chosen for so long. And he was calm about that. He was calm because he had accepted the paths presented. He was calm because this experience provided a feeling of warmth, and knowing, that while there were multiple paths presented, the end would present two paths merging to one. He also knew that he would not know which two paths would merge, but his confidence in the inevitability of those two paths coming together was enormous. Two paths coming together is an incredible and most disconcerting occurrence. When two paths align towards a meeting, there is always the trepidation of knowing if the other path is ready to unite and more importantly if the two paths will stay merged for time. It is the knowing if the woman on the other path is ready to walk alongside that is the most difficult part. He realizes that her path is a solitary path right now. He understands, as with his own path, that there is the needed solace that one comes to find in walking alone. But here is this man. He is alone on his path and has taken the action of swerving his path towards that of her path. It was not an action taken on a whim. While he has realized that his path is leading to another’s, he still remembers his own pain and the reasons he chose the singular path. He knows that there is no chance for him to find another to meet with if he doesn’t take the chance to move his path first. But to move his path, he needs to remember his pain but not let it decide his fate. For it is his decision, and not the choice of the pain he had endured. Just as it is hers, and not her pain that must decide the path she takes. It is difficult to make that decision and dismiss the hurt. It is a conscience decision that is made, yet the pain will still have say in how and when it is made. It is the point that one can stand in front of the pain and know that it will not define their life that they will be able to have their paths move towards another’s. This man who has moved his path towards the woman’s is not going to move anymore. He’s remembered his own pain and has thought about uniting his multiple paths back into a single path and walking alone again. His pain, while diminished by time, still causes a desire to withdraw to a single path, but he is strong and places importance not on the pain remembered but, the joys that united paths present. The joys that cannot be determined, to either last or end, until the time that either may happen. It’s important to him to honestly state his feelings to she who walks the other path. To express that while he is strong and steady on his path, he desires their paths to close together. It is not his desire to rush to close the gap separating their paths, but to patiently and steadily walk his path with the hope that she will close the gap along her terms and time. He is confident that along her path, she will come to realize that his choice to walk steady and wait for her closing is a testament to his determination that someone as special as her should not be dismissed as his path moves along. It is a statement that he is confident in his ability to be understanding and to be caring of her as she decides to be defined by the hope of joy instead of the remembrance of the past. Because he knows that remembrance of the past can only be overcome with the slow passing of time, and perhaps the gentle understanding of the man walking the path that is getting closer and closer. He’s gentle and kind, caring and understanding, and while he doesn’t profess to state that time in its eternity will happen if their paths cross closer, he is certain that he will take care to let it be known that his honesty will be enduring, his dedication will be unfaltering, and that he is there. Opening his deepest feelings to her as a sign that the pain is not all encompassing but just a fleeting phase. This man knows that the woman’s path could go in a different direction. He accepts that possibility. He hopes though, that this special woman will perhaps take a chance and move her path a little closer and that she understands that not all paths lead to disappointment and pain. Because pain is not the norm, it is the exception and although it feels as if trust is just a fleeting idea once dreamed of, it can be a reality if given the opportunity. And the man also realizes that he could be as dense as to not take the polite “I’m not ready” statement as an actual “I’m not interested” but trusting in the woman’s statements that it’s not a blow off, just a timing issue. However, he, being a man, is definitely prone to following the wrong meaning of the statements based on his desires. The man, again a man, should be able to distinguish between the subtleties of a declination of advance and the woman’s honest desire to not fall into the same trap as in her past, but he has been a little occupied by the possible meanings for him in the previous conversations that some subtleties could have been lost on him. Should this be the case, the man would kindly appreciate the woman directly defining this to him. But if it truly is an inconvenient arrangement of timing between the man and the woman, the man went to the tallest tower in the castle and laid the dragon to rest for all to see. And standing atop the dragon with his chest pushed out in pride, he shouted at the top of his lungs, “I am Awesome, but not in a Barney type way but rather a Ted and Marshall type way”. This being said, the townsfolk looked upon him and proclaimed that the crazy man upon the tower in the plaid shirt speaking in volumes of needless words, need be granted the lady’s blessing to proceed on a “hanging out together” or he would like to consider it a date, on the Saturday upcometh. This of course should she have made it through the breadth of these countless (1485 to this point) words.
In a land on the edge of the divide, surrounded by an increasing tide of concrete, brick and mortar we find in the most unlikely of places, the story of an incredible journey.
You wouldn’t expect him to rise above the average nor be in the lead of his brethren but he makes his statement through his pure gentility and dedication to that he holds dear. It is the unapologetic way that he presents himself that leads most people to give thought to his ways. Not unique in any one particular way but unique in his whole. He is simply, himself.
In himself, he has discovered that which plagues all men, thoughts of a woman. He has spent much time self reflecting that which has befallen him in the past, that which has scarred him. The hurt and pain involved was unimaginable and still haunts him. It is this pain that had secluded him in a world devoid of all that he held dear. He walked alone along this path, content in the meanings that he decided. He determined the outcome, he was his own master, no one else had a say in his feelings.
It is in this self reflecting manner that he lost his focus on his path alone. He became intrigued and explored the feelings that had long been suppressed. The path he was on was no longer singular in destination but, the multiplicity of the paths ahead was staggering. He sought the solace that only friends can provide and looked to their experience to guide him with his impending decisions. He knew what he wanted, what he secretly has known for the better part of his young life. Yet, he overlooked those desires, those dreams in favor of the stability and security that could only be found along the single path that he had created for himself. His time along the singular path was coming to an end before him. And it was towards the end of this path that he slowly had an experience that would further define his future. This experience was not sudden in occurrence but slowly evolved from a single point. It was an experience that while felt before was more vivid in its meaning. The experience had time to mature, to slowly come to fruition in the man’s field of vision. He knew what this was, he had remembered from the past what this would mean for him. It would mean an extended hiatus from the path he had chosen for so long. And he was calm about that. He was calm because he had accepted the paths presented. He was calm because this experience provided a feeling of warmth, and knowing, that while there were multiple paths presented, the end would present two paths merging to one. He also knew that he would not know which two paths would merge, but his confidence in the inevitability of those two paths coming together was enormous. Two paths coming together is an incredible and most disconcerting occurrence. When two paths align towards a meeting, there is always the trepidation of knowing if the other path is ready to unite and more importantly if the two paths will stay merged for time. It is the knowing if the woman on the other path is ready to walk alongside that is the most difficult part. He realizes that her path is a solitary path right now. He understands, as with his own path, that there is the needed solace that one comes to find in walking alone. But here is this man. He is alone on his path and has taken the action of swerving his path towards that of her path. It was not an action taken on a whim. While he has realized that his path is leading to another’s, he still remembers his own pain and the reasons he chose the singular path. He knows that there is no chance for him to find another to meet with if he doesn’t take the chance to move his path first. But to move his path, he needs to remember his pain but not let it decide his fate. For it is his decision, and not the choice of the pain he had endured. Just as it is hers, and not her pain that must decide the path she takes. It is difficult to make that decision and dismiss the hurt. It is a conscience decision that is made, yet the pain will still have say in how and when it is made. It is the point that one can stand in front of the pain and know that it will not define their life that they will be able to have their paths move towards another’s. This man who has moved his path towards the woman’s is not going to move anymore. He’s remembered his own pain and has thought about uniting his multiple paths back into a single path and walking alone again. His pain, while diminished by time, still causes a desire to withdraw to a single path, but he is strong and places importance not on the pain remembered but, the joys that united paths present. The joys that cannot be determined, to either last or end, until the time that either may happen. It’s important to him to honestly state his feelings to she who walks the other path. To express that while he is strong and steady on his path, he desires their paths to close together. It is not his desire to rush to close the gap separating their paths, but to patiently and steadily walk his path with the hope that she will close the gap along her terms and time. He is confident that along her path, she will come to realize that his choice to walk steady and wait for her closing is a testament to his determination that someone as special as her should not be dismissed as his path moves along. It is a statement that he is confident in his ability to be understanding and to be caring of her as she decides to be defined by the hope of joy instead of the remembrance of the past. Because he knows that remembrance of the past can only be overcome with the slow passing of time, and perhaps the gentle understanding of the man walking the path that is getting closer and closer. He’s gentle and kind, caring and understanding, and while he doesn’t profess to state that time in its eternity will happen if their paths cross closer, he is certain that he will take care to let it be known that his honesty will be enduring, his dedication will be unfaltering, and that he is there. Opening his deepest feelings to her as a sign that the pain is not all encompassing but just a fleeting phase. This man knows that the woman’s path could go in a different direction. He accepts that possibility. He hopes though, that this special woman will perhaps take a chance and move her path a little closer and that she understands that not all paths lead to disappointment and pain. Because pain is not the norm, it is the exception and although it feels as if trust is just a fleeting idea once dreamed of, it can be a reality if given the opportunity. And the man also realizes that he could be as dense as to not take the polite “I’m not ready” statement as an actual “I’m not interested” but trusting in the woman’s statements that it’s not a blow off, just a timing issue. However, he, being a man, is definitely prone to following the wrong meaning of the statements based on his desires. The man, again a man, should be able to distinguish between the subtleties of a declination of advance and the woman’s honest desire to not fall into the same trap as in her past, but he has been a little occupied by the possible meanings for him in the previous conversations that some subtleties could have been lost on him. Should this be the case, the man would kindly appreciate the woman directly defining this to him. But if it truly is an inconvenient arrangement of timing between the man and the woman, the man went to the tallest tower in the castle and laid the dragon to rest for all to see. And standing atop the dragon with his chest pushed out in pride, he shouted at the top of his lungs, “I am Awesome, but not in a Barney type way but rather a Ted and Marshall type way”. This being said, the townsfolk looked upon him and proclaimed that the crazy man upon the tower in the plaid shirt speaking in volumes of needless words, need be granted the lady’s blessing to proceed on a “hanging out together” or he would like to consider it a date, on the Saturday upcometh. This of course should she have made it through the breadth of these countless (1485 to this point) words.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Buttocks of the tender type.
I theorize that your butt should be more tender the younger you are. It only makes sense right? I mean your feet and hands usually tend to callous as you use them more and get older. But the butt is the complete opposite of what it should be. I used to be able to ride my bike all day long and not have any problems but today after a 3 hour ride with the boy, my buttocks are sore!! It us just not fair!
Autocratic Rule
My little 7 year old boy is playing at a playground and I'm amazed at how he wields authority over the other kids there. In a matter of 10 minutes, he's got two other little boys with him and he's making the rules of the games they are playing "I'm the commander clone trooper and you two are my regular clone troopers". I'm kind of glad that he appears to be leading and not following although I really need to make sure he doesn't lead too well or he could end up leading some sort of cult, which as we all know is bad, especially if there's kool-aid involved.
Maybe it's because he's an only child and sets his own play rules when he's alone. I often have to remind him that I am subject to his rules and that we should just play and not worry about the rules. I don't remember having play rules when I was a kid, maybe it's because we just played. Or maybe it's because I was a little but of a follower, not really sure there. But, I am secretly proud of his leading abilities!!
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